My "serval son" Deaken would be 30 years old today if cats enjoyed the longevity that human beings are capable of. Alas, that's not the way it goes... but he's in my heart to stay. I still dream about him from time to time. When that happens, I get to run my hand through his fur again and hear his bird-like chirps and purrs. I had the foresight to record his bird chirps and other sounds, but haven't had the guts to listen to them since he passed away. I know right where the recordings are, though, should I ever decide I need a good cry!
I have about 30 phone messages that the Kelleys left on my voicemail, too, tucked away on audiotape. I've only heard those once since De passed away, when Terry came out to research De's biography.
There are some things that are just hard to do. Listening to the voices of departed loved ones is one of them. It makes their absence all the more real, and you miss them all over again as though their leave-taking just occurred -- only this time you're no longer numb, in shock, or in denial.
I haven't watched more than about three episodes of original TREK since De passed, except for brief scenes that were shown at TREK conventions where I appeared. McCoy isn't De, although De is McCoy. There is a difference; it's hard to define what it is, exactly -- except to say that De was a far gentler man on a daily basis than it seems McCoy was. McCoy could get mighty crotchety, and that usually made me laugh because it was so UN-De-like.
Oh gads, let's get off this subject before I get maudlin!
I miss my two De's today -- De Kelley and Deaken serval.
Note: Anitra is my niece, Laurel's eldest daughter. She was born five hours after Deaken on May 16th, 1979. I always joked to Laurel that my "child" was born first that day...
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