It occurred to this thick cranium last night while sitting in a recliner that the only person expecting perfection out of me in Vegas is me! The nerves I'm feeling right now are completely self-generated (or serpent-generated: "Has God really said ---?" The same old "doubt God" ploy that Satan loves to interject into any worthwhile endeavor). Any nervous feeling of inadequacy about my ability to talk about my association with my dear friends Carolyn and De Kelley is BOGUS! If I'm not an expert in this field, I'm an expert in NO field!
The story I'll be telling is my story, and is as indelible inside me as the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord's Prayer. So for me to be this nervous about it is nuts.
Okay, it's not nuts. It's perfectly natural for most of us to be nervous before a live presentation. Eighty percent of men have said they would prefer to go into battle and face death rather than engage in public speaking. Women probably fear it a little less because once we get going (talking) -- well, talking comes pretty naturally to us and our "audience" becomes our friend the moment we relax and "get real"!
But what I have to remember is that the people in that auditorium don't really give a fig about the messenger or how well she orates; they want me to relax (so they can) and be myself (so they can experience the message, not the messenger) and just share what it was like to know DeForest Kelley "up close and personal."
I CAN DO THIS!
I'm sure I will still have moments of almost-panic between now and when I step onto that stage -- realizing that this will be the largest crowd ever assembled to hear me (some of whom will be sitting there in very expensive reserved seating just waiting for the next speakers because they aren't Original Series fans. Maybe they'll be intrigued too, if I do it right... scratch that -- when I do it right! -- and BECOME Original Series fans, or at least DeForest Kelley fans. That would be terrific!)
Alison keeps telling me to just keep remembering to breathe normally between now and then. And I am remembering to unclench my fists whenever I find them clenched. Then I stop whatever I'm doing or thinking until I feel relaxed -- truly relaxed. These "exercises" keep reminding me, "There is no tiger in the room and there will be no tigers in the auditorium in Vegas..."
And I pray. "Lord, Adam and Gary [Creation's owners] invited me to this convention, and to the last one in Sacramento. I didn't ask for the opportunity, as I did in Seattle the first time. They asked me. So that tells me they believe I do a good job of remembering the De Kelley that they and I knew. And if I have been invited, twice, it may well be Your will for me too! You must believe I'm ready to start ministering to this audience -- and to any others that seek me out! This is an opportunity, and perhaps a test of my willingness to step out in faith and be a good servant while addressing De's fans. De reflected you, LORD. It's my turn. Please identify to me before the convention any words I intend to speak that were not written under your authority and instead give me what You would have me say to these precious people as I share a brief history of De, Carolyn and me. I am expecting the Holy Spirit to be with me and to help me along in the way, as I have been helped during the creation of the presentation. In Jesus' name I pray, amen!"
If God is with me -- and boy howdy, does it ever feel He is! -- all is ALREADY well at the convention (He sees all life from beginning to end!)!!!
That knowledge gives me peace...
Your prayers are helping! Please keep lifting them! THANK YOU!!!