Monday, July 30, 2007
The Countdown Begins!!! Alternating Currents...
Ooh-whee! It won’t be long now! I feel like singing one of John Denver’s signature songs:
All my bags are packed (well, not quite, but some are shipped!)
I’m ready to go…
I have a serious case of race horse nerves, standing inside a starting gate all a’twitter, being expected to wait until the “fence” swings open so I can run.
That’s really all this is. I’m ready. I’m willing. I’m able. And I wish I were already doing it so I could have it over with and have the rest of the weekend to relax and visit and hug folks. THAT’LL be MY “rose wreath!”
Writers love to write but many – if not most – are not as crazy about public speaking. My goal is to ENJOY it -- sooner rather than later, and the more I do it, the better I will like it and the sooner I will know how to relax and just share and have fun. I’m “rehearsing” sharing and having fun during these final days. It comes naturally to me one-on-one… so it’s definitely not beyond my grasp.
I’m a pretty good public speaker –just a nervous one (well-disguised from the audience, they tell me). I have a real fear of looking ridiculous, which is why I’m “photogenic” in front of a camera – I’d much rather try to “look the part” than duck, weave, frown, throw my hand up between myself and a camera, or upchuck. “Notoriety” is not native to me. I’d rather be in the shadows creating something dynamite to read rather than trying to look like dynamite myself.
It’s a pickle!
But I’m gathering up all my resources – emotional, physical, spiritual – and am going through with it. I keep my commitments – even the nutty ones – and boy was this a nutty one!
God bless you, Adam and Gary, for your faith in me. I won’t let you down. This presentation has been several months in the making and the memories were several decades in the living… so LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
On other fronts…
Sorry, I can see no other fronts right now. I am FOCUSED to the point of DISTRACTION – HA HA HA. Sounds like an oxymoron to me!
I could sing, walk, sleep to distract myself.
Gads, I’m waaaayyyy more unsettled about this than I was about having major surgery last year! That’s because in major surgery I didn’t have to do anything but show up! In this instance, I have to show up and be a “star.” Gulp… What is wrong with this picture? How did being friends with DeForest Kelley translate into giving speeches about him? Wasn’t the book SUFFICIENT?!
I will love it. I will love it. I will love it. I will love it. (Please note repeated affirmation... Fake it till you make it.)
All the people in Vegas in that room want to hear about De. Where else can I go and find this many people hanging on every word? NOWHERE!!!! It’s the perfect place to be – with other De fans! Might even sell some books. (Now there's an afterthought that encourages me!)
I will share. I will love it. During and after. God will see me through it.
Maybe I’ll take some Depends along, just in case….