"Remember..." An Excerpt From My Next DeForest Kelley Book

Several people sent me "I remember De!" messages yesterday on what would have been his 88th birthday. I tried to locate an earlier essay that was published in newspapers, called REMEMBERING DeFOREST KELLEY, but it's on a disc that's unaccessible right now, so instead, I'll give you a sneak-peek of my next book,THE ENDURING LEGACY OF DeFOREST KELLEY: ACTOR, HEALER, FRIEND.


Following is the working draft of the intro to the ACTOR section of the book. It's copywrited, but if you'd like to use it for publicity purposes at any of the STAR TREK or DeForest Kelley websites, just let me know and also append this: "Author Kristine M Smith's first book about DeForest Kelley is DeFOREST KELLEY: A HARVEST OF MEMORIES, garnering 5-star reviews at Amazon. She is seeking additional contributors to her next Kelley book, of which the preceding has been a preview. Fans, friends and co-workers are encouraged to tell their stories of meeting or knowing De -- or of simply loving him from afar. Send your reminiscences to Kris at KRISTINE M SMITH AT MSN DOT COM."



Fans are undoubtedly familiar with De’s portrayal as Dr. McCoy on the original, iconic STAR TREK® television and motion picture series. This is probably the way most of today’s fans became fans, watching him interact with the crew of the Starship Enterprise. As we all know, McCoy’s on-again, off-again irascible tendencies covered a heart of gold that was sold out to his patients, to his mission, and to his crewmates (yes, even Spock). There was no doubt about that. Time and again, he offered his life for theirs, as they had for his.

A television host in Colorado, a huge fan of Westerns, once regaled De and his Good Day Colorado audience with an almost “word-for-word” recreation of some of De’s lines from “Warlock,” a better-than-most Western starring Henry Fonda, Richard Widmark, and Anthony Quinn. Pretending to be De’s character Curly Burne in the movie, the host did a fast draw, then stopped short when he realized his opponent (Fonda) had out-drawn him. Much to De’s delight, the host flailed helplessly as he “backed down” from the confrontation he had engendered, and then jumped to another aspect of the same scene. “And just before that, where you’re trying to goad him into this gunfight, you say, ‘Oh, them pearly handles of yo’s … they’re enough to blind a man’s eyes. You really ought to stop polishing them that way, por favor, you know, the way you always do… Someone ought to just take them pearly handles from you and rough them up a bit, you know?”

When the host finished his faithful rendition of the scene, De’s eyes shone and his grin was as wide as Colorado itself. He took a brief look into the studio audience – the largest audience for that particular show, ever, filled as it was past capacity with TREK fans imported from a STARLAND convention nearby – and he laughed. “You know,” he told the show host, then pointed at his fans and said, “They know! If this wasn’t a television show, I could tell you a story about that very scene…” And he left it there. The show host undoubtedly asked for, and received, “the rest of the story” backstage.

For those who haven’t heard it:

Days before the scene was filmed, the director had told De that the Princess of Greece, Princess Sofia, would be on the soundstage the day he was scheduled to shoot the scene. De thought he was joking, because this particular director had a dry sense of humor. “I thought maybe he meant Sophia Loren.”

Sure enough, when the day arrived a very real Princess Sofia and her large entourage gathered on the upper part of stairway in the “saloon” where the filming of this scene was about to take place. The visitors to the set were out of camera range.

“At first,” De recalled, “I was very nervous – not necessarily because the Princess and her people were there, but because in this scene I had to do a fly-away – that’s a move with a gun where I flip it and it goes into my holster, with any luck at all – and I had been practicing this move, but it was nowhere near certain I could get it on the first take, or even the second.

“Henry Fonda was away that day – Tyrone Power had passed away the week before and Fonda was at his funeral – so his lines were read to me. In this scene, I’m supposed to goad Fonda into a fight, and when I do, his gun is out of the holster in a flash and I realize I’m done for unless I back down, so I quickly, and as humbly as this hombre can, back down. I do the fly-away and it goes in perfectly; a big relief to me. Then I start backing away, with a little wave to Fonda, toward the bat-wing doors, and… this wasn’t in the scene… I trip backward over a chair! As I went over, I called out, ‘Oh, shit!’

“Well, you could have heard a pin drop. All of a sudden I remember Princess Sofia and her people are standing on the staircase watching this whole thing! So I crawled out through the bat-wing doors on my knees! And on the other side of the doors, the director looks down at me and says, ‘De, I’ll bet you sat up all night trying to think of what to say in front of the Princess of Greece.’

“As it turned out, Princess Sofia didn’t know what that word meant. But when I went to the commissary for lunch that day, everyone stood up and applauded me! It was all over the lot what I had said in front of the princess!”

Okay, now you know about the outtake. Go and rent or buy the movie and see what De, a conscience-ridden bad guy hanging with the wrong crowd, does when confronted with the enormity of his gang’s depravity. In a way, he becomes the hero of the motion picture, in my opinion. ‘Nuf said.

Curly Burne in Warlock was one of De’s very few good-natured bad guys. Most of his portrayals were so cussedly ornery and demonic that he was often hired to snarl at the likes of Steve McQueen, Clint Eastwood, Audie Murphy, the Lone Ranger and the Bonanza boys. If you haven’t seen his other portrayals, you are missing out on some of the best acting ever in Westerns. (A top-notch and complete filmography of De’s entire acting career can be found at Karen Halliday’s website: http://www.klhalliday.com/DeKelley/Index.htm. Check it out, rent some of the films at your local video store, and feast your eyes on ACTOR DeForest Kelley If you don’t have Internet access, ask a friend to download the site for you, or visit a library to download it.)

Be forewarned, however: Before watching any of De’s Westerns, you may have to divorce yourself from any knowledge of Dr. McCoy (and that takes some doing!) in order to truly appreciate his pre-McCoy portrayals. Remind yourself beforehand that McCoy had not yet been created and that De’s cowboy portrayals were the rationale the network had for believing that STAR TREK’s audience could never “buy” DeForest Kelley as good guy Doctor McCoy, which is why he wasn’t in the first pilot of STAR TREK. You will understand their concern after seeing him in these earlier roles!

In my opinion, De deserved a Best Supporting Actor award for a number of his bad-guy portrayals in motion pictures, among them: as Toby Jack Saunders in APACHE UPRISING and as Wexler in THE LAW AND JAKE WADE. And a Best Supporting Actor television award wouldn’t have hurt for his role in THE HONOR OF COSHISE, a BONANZA episode. The fact that De’s character bites the dust in so many of his Westerns – whether soon or late – just underscores that his scoundrels had to die or the audiences would have gone home with nightmares, and the tales told -- most of which were morality plays in disguise -- would have fallen flat!

De was asked at numerous conventions about how he managed to portray scoundrels so ably, when he was obviously such a gentleman. He said, “When I was a boy growing up in Georgia, there was a Sheriff who looked as though he couldn’t wait to find someone stepping out of line so that he could shoot him. He just looked like a snake to me; coiled and ready to strike. He was one of the role models for some of the heavies I played. I figured if I could capture that sheriff’s ominous aspects, my portrayal would be convincing.”

When De was in the hospital the last few months of his life, he related that one of his and Carolyn’s best friends for over 60 years had told them, years ago, that she would never believe De in a bad guy role and so that’s why she had never gone to see him in one. “When she said that, I became a bad guy right in front of her, just to show her I could do it. Well, I when I did, it scared her so badly that she started to cry! So I started to cry! I had to apologize! I wanted to convince her I was an actor, not scare her half to death! It was just awful…”

In APACHE UPRISING, an AC Lyles film, De portrayed a sociopath, Toby Jack Saunders, a man so void of decency and conscience that he exuded malevolence from every pore. The role haunted De even years later. He reflected, “I sat up half the night last night” (in the hospital) “thinking what a no good son of a bitch Toby Jack was. In the script, he was supposed to ride into town and when the town mongrel came out to wag a barking hello, I was supposed to pull out my gun and shoot him. Well, that was too much for me. I told AC I couldn’t do that. I told him I would establish his character some other way.”

He did! I had a nightmare about that hombre after seeing APACHE UPRISING!

De was one of very few actors in the late 40’s and early 50’s with a “crossover” career, working in motion pictures as well as in the new medium of television. For the most part, motion picture actors felt it was “beneath them” to work in television. As a struggling young actor, De wasn’t allowed the luxury of that lofty an opinion of himself; his focus was on keeping a roof over his and Carolyn’s heads. His list of credits from the 40’s 50’s is mind-boggling: he appeared in over 100 different series episodes, as well as in fifteen motion pictures, mostly as heavies, ne’er-do-wells and scoundrels.

Occasionally he appeared in a role as a hapless fellow falsely accused of a crime (in motion pictures, FEAR IN THE NIGHT and ILLEGAL, and in television, the Bonanza episode THE DECISION). The despair, anger or panic he showed in these portrayals was spot on. Viewers could vicariously experience this poor fellow’s dilemma as we sweated for him, hoping against all hope that his innocence would be discovered before the executioner could do his fatal job. In the case of ILLEGAL, our hope is dashed. Seconds after his execution, the truth is found out, too late to save him. The consequences are agonizing for the star of the show, Edward G. Robinson, who suffers the tortures of the damned for the rest of the picture. De’s role in this movie is small, but pivotal.

Another small but powerful role in RAINTREE COUNTY captures the attention of the audience as De -- the only Southern soldier seen in the film in a seminal role -- rides in on a horse and is felled by a bullet. For the next ten minutes or so De’s unnamed character plays with Lee Marvin’s mind in an attempt to get him to let down his guard long enough so that De can shoot him and escape to get help before he bleeds to death. The charm and easy attitude of De’s character is utterly captivating. The audience begins to hope that these two enemies will bury the hatchet and strike some kind of mutually-acceptable deal that will allow them both to survive the intersection of their lives as soldiers. Alas, it is not to be… and the men meet their end in a sudden showdown that is both a surprise and an outrageous obscenity to the audience.

 “What a shame,” we sigh – and then we realize the sentiment is the epilogue for the entire sorry history of the Civil War in which men like these, with personalities and potential for greatness, fought and perished. These two men embody, in a palpable way, the obscenity of war. In other times, they would likely have been fast friends and would probably have been willing to lay down their lives for each other…

Many of De’s roles were small, but very few of them were insignificant. The power of his performances proves the adage, “There are no small parts, only small actors.” Any time De appeared in anything, his character seemed to be the true north for that particular type of human soul. He got inside his characters and breathed life into them. His heavies were not cardboard caricatures; they were people largely unaware that they were deviating from a norm; they were simply responding to cards that had been dealt to them since childhood. Their stories and actions were made perfectly understandable given their wounded psyches, and no word of exposition had to be written to explain them; we just knew because De-the-actor seemed to know.

De made bad guys bad, but he also made a number of them somehow pitiable, fearfully and wonderfully accessible. He allowed us to inhabit them as easily as we could the hero of the piece, not happily, not willingly, but with a sense of morbid curiosity, the way we examine mothers who drown their children or Hitler or Ted Bundy, people who irrationally embarked on workable plans to carry out successive, horrible deviant behaviors. We don’t know how they got there, and we realize that if we understood them we would be just as whacked out as they were, and yet we try to figure out their pathology as if figuring it out would make us safer.

My New Book is Begun!

Its title is ENTHUSIASM, with a subtitle I won't be divulging right now. I've written the Foreword and will be adding to the book over the course of the next several weeks, as inspiration dictates. Its' about "following your bliss," something I'm endeavoring to do as I search for a new job, because I won't be happy for long if I keep putting off what God placed me here to do, which is: to encourage people to hope, trust and work toward their God-given goals, which are always disguised as "enthusiasms, passions, and callings."


I walked five miles today. It was chilly but I walked fast and worked up enough warmth to unzip my heavy jacket. My feet are sore right now; they're not used to that much walking all-at-once. I took two trips, an hour apart, to get to the five mile mark.

I want to remind De's fans to send me your reminiscences of him. I want to get my next De book published sometime before 2011, when the 45th anniversary or STAR TREK arrives. If I get enough additional contributions, I can publish it this year.

There just hasn't been enough "buzz" about it in TREK venues to let fans and co-stars know of their opportunity to contribute to it. I planned to mention it in Vegas during the "wrap-up" segment of my appearance, but the talk was amputated twenty minutes early and I had to leave out the mention of the upcoming book, THE ENDURING LEGACY OF DeFOREST KELLEY: ACTOR, HEALER, FRIEND. So if you have any clout in the TREK world, or know of anyone who does, please let them know I'd like to do an interview or podcast about De again so I can announce to fans that I need their contributions to complete the book. It's true that I could finish it myself, but my vision for it is that lots of fans will contribute. There are so many wonderful stories out there of ways in which De touched his fans and I want to include as many of them as I can... The contributions I've received already are terrific and I know there are a lot not yet written that should be written.

So get going!

I'm A Free Agent Again!

Friday was my last day at On-Hold Concepts (www.onholdconcepts.com). I campaigned hard for a much-deserved raise in my hourly wage, but it wasn't accepted, so I was laid off, but with three letters of recommendation and with my own kind words for the opportunity. It was painful to go, for sure, because I loved it there. I was pretty miserable all afternoon on Friday! But now that I've had time to go through the "grieving process" in my head (denial, fear, anger, bargaining, and acceptance) at warp six, it's on to the next opportunity, with no looking back except in gratitude for the friends I made, the lessons learned (which made me much better at what I do), and the freedom to choose again!

I applied for about sixteen positions Friday evening and Saturday and already have three responses, all of which pay better than I was getting, so God is up to something. I also have an idea for a new book, so I'm going to be working on that over the course of the next two weeks.

I am taking two weeks off -- except for a typing test mandated by one of the potential employers, and except for looking for more opportunities so I have as many options to choose from as possible -- because I've been working for a year without a break and need to "vacation" now if I'm going to have one this year. So now's the time...

Every word spoken to me since Friday afternoon has been divinely-inspired -- I have never gone four days without reading more appropriate-to-moment books (Re-Position Yourself by Bishop TD Jakes; Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee; and Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling, by Wayne Dyer), hearing a more spot-on Bible study and sermon (you can hear the sermon at http://www.churchforallnations.org/; click on Media and select the audio or video version), or receiving more unconditional love from family, friends and former co-workers. It has been one of the loveliest four day spans in my lifetime! And that, too, is a result of divine grace. The vibration of love is very strong...

In reading Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee I inoculated myself against the common tendency to allow the "negative" in this situation to make me fearful. I understand now, to the core of my being, how much God loves me (loves us all -- this isn't an arrogant statement) and how much he hungers for me just to trust Him and the process, even when it doesn't go according to my plan -- which was simply to have my true value to the company validated in dollars. (It has been said, "We make our plans, and God laughs." But God laughs at Satan's plans, too, when He knows we're firmly in the palm of His hand and cannot be influenced by the Father of Lies and his minions). I have always known -- have always been told -- how much God loves us, but until I read Demon: A Memoir, I don't think I had it spelled out for me quite literally enough (connecting the dots) that I could fully rely on the "hype" of being that precious to the Creator of the Universe. As David said in one of the Psalms (a paraphrase), "What is man, that you think so highly of us?" I finally understand what we are to God. It's just amazing what we are to God!

Then I read Re-Position Yourself by Bishop Jakes. Strange, how I ordered this book two weeks ago and it arrived on the exact day I most needed to read it! This book is a salve for the soul of any person with a dream for their life that has not yet been fully realized. Bishop Jakes is a masterful theologian and motivator. He basically reassures the reader that God doesn't give us any dreams that He doesn't want us to accomplish, and that the giftings we have are given by God so that our dreams will become goals -- and then accomplishments.

Wayne Dyer's book Inspiration echoes Bishop Jakes, but from a "vibrational" perspective. He talks about (among many other things) the higher, faster vibration of love and creativity as opposed to the lower, slower vibration of fear, jealousy, anger, and apathy and says that the higher energies are the ones to stay in vibrational harmony with. If we will do that, "nothing shall be impossible" (this is a biblical quote) because we will be in-Spirit with the living God, with the source of all that is good, all that is God (whatever you conceive God to be). Jesus reminded us that he is with us always, even to the end of the age. So the "message" to take from that is, "If God is for you, who can prevail against you?"

Again, Tosca Lee's Demon: A Memoir made it perfectly clear that the cards are stacked: God's plans to make us victorious as his image-bearers will prevail. I believe that in a way I'm not sure I ever have before... Although it's a work of fiction (demons do not write, or ask ghostwriters to write, their memoirs) it's biblically sound and utterly riveting. Lee uses similes and metaphors that carry you along, which makes it impossible to put the book down!

Anyway, I just got an email asking me to apply for a $48K/annually job... so guess I'd better sign off for now and answer at least this one before I take my vacation... wouldn't you agree this is wise?

Keep me in your heart and prayers -- and as you do, be sure to vibrate to the Faith Factor, not the Fear Factor!

Thank you!

HUGS!

"Demon" A Powerful Read!

I’m reading a work of fiction (horrors! What’s the world coming to?) called DEMON, by a fantastic first-time author. It’s incredibly good. It’s about a guy who meets a demon and finds out what it’s like to know you’re damned, from the demon’s point of view. The author is a Christian and she has done a wonderful job of making it seem real, and creepy, even sad! It’s no wonder demons are out to grab a few more of us in any way they can. It’s gonna be lonely separated from God with just other demons – they want some "human" companionship when they get where they’re going!

When you get into the storehouse of cherubim and seraphim information and the place they hold in the hierarchy, it seems weird to think they would ever want to be anywhere else, but those who saw Lucifer as "shining perfection" (the way God made him) and decided to worship him (a created being) rather than the Creator made a choice to go that way because it seemed harmless to do so – as we all do when something or someone "outshines" our Creator in today’s world – whether it’s riches, celebrities, stuff, whatever…

I’ve been guilty of it myself … at times on a weekly basis. I always repent as soon as I realize I’m heading in that dangerous direction.

It’s not always easy to remember that the only One worthy of our worship and efforts is God. Because he’s invisible and usually quiet, it’s easy to forget unless we keep a mantra going inside us: "O Worship the King…. Lord of heaven and earth."

Who else can measure up, after all? Only He who made the heavens, the cosmos, the things seen and unseen, the atoms, microbes, cells, sinew, hair, land, waters is worthy of awe and worship.
There are some amazing things in the world, and people, but all were created by God, all are His handiwork… so our gaze should extend beyond them.. to Him!

Obama For Me!

I spent Saturday evening watching the Presidential candidates debate and then watched C-Span coverage at Jackie’s home on Sunday, and have decided that I am going to start visibly supporting Barack Obama’s candidacy (wearing T-shirts, putting bumper stickers on my car, etc.).

I like all four of the Democratic contenders and would vote for any of them should they be the party’s nominee. I like a couple of the Republican contenders, too, (Huckabee and McCain), but not as well as I like any of the four Democrats currently in the forefront.

I sense a renewed hope in America for America because of the Obama candidacy – something I haven’t felt since Robert Kennedy ran for President in 1968. I pray several times a day that Obama’s candidacy will not end as Bobby’s did – for if it does, I think the citizens of this country, black and white, will become utterly despondent for yet another significant period of time.

The American voice, in all its diversity, needs to be heard and I think Barack Obama is the candidate most likely to be its figurehead and founding father. He will gather around him the best and brightest and will know he needs to perform as perhaps no other President has, to establish once and for all that there should never again be a color barrier in this country -- to any position.

We’ve been in a political wilderness of sorts ever since Watergate. Very few Americans have the sense that politicians are little more than grown up-looking adolescents… almost gangs but lacking guns… so intent on fighting across the aisles that nothing ever gets done to heal and help America. I am sick and tired of it.

I like Hillary, and wish she were better liked, as her policies are sound and her dedication is huge, but I’m afraid that if she gets in, partisan bickering will be renewed and will continue unabated. It’s a real shame, because she’d be a terrific President and would break the gender barrier, but I just don’t see a lot of America rallying around her the way they have Obama.
I also like Edwards and Richardson, and would love to see all four Democratic candidates (and Bill Clinton) in Obama Administration positions, but the leader America needs now is Obama. He is drawing Dems, Republicans, Independents, young and old, into his camp – and that’s a good sign!

And I saw Obama’s wife on C-Span and she’s just as amazing as he is! I was riveted by her talk yesterday. She is charismatic, smart, wise, tough, tender and tenacious. She’ll be a phenomenal First Lady!

One of Obama’s bumper stickers reads "got hope?"

I do now, finally -- once again! When I see white-bread Ohio and New Hampshire voting for Barack Obama in the majority, it’s impossible to be as pessimistic as I have been for the past almost 35+ years.

The Hebrews spent 40 years in the wilderness before they were allowed into the Promised Land, mostly because of unbelief and bickering. (Sound familiar?)

God is at work. I think Obama will take us across the Jordan this time – as long as his Secret Service men and heavenly angels work hard to keep him safe.

I think he’s gonna win! And I think it will be a HUGE step forward for America!

WAHOO!!!

Caucus Results...

Obama and Huckabee won the Ohio caucases last night. Gads, if they end up being the candidates, it will be a hard choice, even though I’m a Democrat. I like them both. (I guess that means I’d vote Democrat… unless I discern something between now and then that just won’t fly in either of the two Democrats.)

I’d love to see the race/gender barrier broken this time out… and Clinton (although she’s less well-liked than her hubby) is probably the woman most likely to do it. Barack Obama is certainly the man to do it. It’s real hard not to like him. He’s not as experienced as other contenders, but he’s smart and will gather around him a Cabinet that is and that will advise him wisely (lots of Clintonites and others, I’m sure… if they don’t turn him down… which would be dumb and viewed as sour grapes).

I’d love to see an Obama ticket with Edwards or Clinton as the VP (or vice versa, if Obama loses his first place ranking). And if Huckabee and McCain hooked up for the Republican ticket, I’d be happy with that ticket, too.

At least in either case we’d have leaders that America could be proud of again! I am so sick of the way the present administration has besmirched the planet and our reputation in the world. It’s sadly pathetic. He’ll go down as the worst President ever… and that’s a shame, but he just refused to be anything more than his own self-(and-cronies) centered worst, until relatively recently when he decided that maybe “his way or the highway” isn’t the most prudent course for the planet. He’s even warming to the threat of global warming – a freaking MIRACLE in itself!

Bobbie Bobstein Sent Me This AMAZING You-Tube Video and Blog...

http://rianniello.blogspot.com/2007/09/just-black-notes.html


Isn't it wonderful?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Merry Christmas

Christmas
All hearts come home at Christmas

Memories of Christmases past bring people vibrantly back to life – people who have long since passed to other realms. And any less-than-perfect memories of most of these people have faded and are now surprisingly insubstantial, leaving only their true essence to flicker in holiday candlelight.

Wounded people wound people. It isn’t intentional; it becomes instinctive at an early age. The only loved ones who will ever hurt you deeply are those you love deeply (and who love you to the uttermost limits of their wounded abilities to love).

Forgive them. It frees you to love them again, and it frees them, wherever they are, to find some peace.

You can do this with living people, but it’s usually easier to start with people who have passed on. Forgiveness is key to "the peace that passes all understanding." Start with forgiving yourself for any part you had in the mutual wounding and animosity, whether intentional or unintentional.

If we can all get just this far, imagine the repercussions for a world at war! Swords into ploughshares, lethal missiles into loving missions, a world that knows it must hang together or all in it will eventually perish in the same moment.

The world has too-dangerous weapons to allow our egos to be in charge of anything anymore. Surrender to peace and see where it takes us. We’ve never tried it before worldwide – and yet it’s what we all crave – peace to pursue our lives and care for our loved ones…

MERRY CHRISTMAS – GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE!

Wahoo! We’re only working half a day on Christmas Eve here at On-Hold Concepts (www.onholdconcepts.com), and we don’t have to get here until 9 am on the 26th! That’s terrific!

The company owner gave me an iPod Shuffle for Christmas, so last night I set it up and downloaded some of my favorite songs from decades past. How the technology allows so many songs on one teensy weensy gadget is beyond me, but I’m enjoying my iPod Shuffle tremendously! There’s a lot more room for songs, but it took me three hours last night just to choose the fifty I chose! I bought a few Johnny Mathis, a few Robert Goulet, a few Elvis, a few Kenny Rogers, some Simon and Garfunkle, and lots of singles by many, many artists – Celine Dion, Dan Fogelberg, Amy Grant, Michael W Smith, Tree 63, Casting Crowns, Josh Groban… and on and on. Whee!!! It’s great to be able to pick and choose off albums, because I usually only like a few of the songs on any one album.

One item got onto the ipod automatically – the Sci-Fi Pulse interview I did with Rico Dostie last year about DeForest Kelley. It’s over an hour long, and needs to come off, because it isn’t something I’d listen to more than once every blue moon (if ever; I saved it to email to others). I can’t figure out how to isolate it so it won’t start playing… but will figure it out soon! In the meantime, I just push "next" whenever it comes around. But it’s taking up a lot of space on my iPod, so I need to find out how to delete it from there!

Yesterday’s holiday party was great fun. It was also a retirement celebration for one of the ladies who worked here for almost twenty years. And we enjoyed a "white elephant" time after a wonderful dinner, which was a lot of laughs. The boss couldn’t be there – that was the only bummer. He was at Seattle-Tacoma airport picking up his 89 year old mother, who had been stranded in the Dallas Airport all night long! She flew from Houston to Dallas and then her flight was grounded. Her trip should have taken three hours – instead, it took over eighteen, so she was very weary and beyond ready to be arrive – and Chuck was right ready to pick her up after such an
unfortunate and unforseen ordeal! Poor gal! I bet she’ll think twice about flying anywhere, ever again, at her age! I’D think about it at MINE!

The Realtor will stop my my condo tomorrow morning at 9. He canceled last night because a storm was supposed to come in. It didn’t… but boy, was it FRIGID this morning. The sheet of ice on my windshield (all over the car, actually) was THICK! It took fifteen minutes of running the car to get the ice to melt away I could see out and drive. That’s unusual around here…

Christmas Day scant hours away now. Wheee!!! Monday night I’ll stay at Jackie’s (it’s a tradition, so we’re all there when the kids awake and dash toward the tree). Just think… next year at Christmas time, God willing, I can sleep in my own bed on Christmas Eve and just walk upstairs when I hear the scuttling of little feet. Now, THAT’S lovely to contemplate!

In case I don’t get to this blog between now and Christmas, please accept my warmest Christmas greetings for a blessed day!

PLEASE TAKE TIME TO REMEMBER THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!

O Holy Night....

My favorite Christmas songs are O Come Emmanuel and Mary, Did You Know? My mother’s favorite Christmas song was The Little Drummer Boy. (Mary, Did You Know hadn’t been written by the time she died, or I have a sneaking suspicion it would be her favorite, too…)

If you don’t know the words or the songs, you can look them up by doing a search on O Come Emmanuel + lyrics in your search engine. Same with Mary, Did You Know? And if you don’t know the words, please do the search and read them. If you can find a musical rendition on line (they exist; I’ve heard them), listen to them if you haven’t heard them.

Both of them make me cry the first time I hear them every year…

I think The Little Drummer Boy resonated with Mom because she was alive during the Great Depression and knew great need and of so many peoples’ inability to "give" anything of "earthly" value to the Christ Child. When the little drummer boy asks if he should play his drum for baby Jesus, and Mary nods, and he plays, Jesus smiles… that gets me, too. Jesus wants our hearts and our love, because he knows our obedience will follow… and his blessings will follow that, in abundance!

Before I was born again, I thought Christians must live awfully boring lives. Not only boring, but judgmental and nit-picky, too! Boy howdy, was I wrong! I have been more alive during the past nine years than I ever was before, except perhaps as a very small child, 5-10 or so. (I was terribly sick and scrawny until I was five and don’t remember much of those days except for Mom rubbing my back and singing songs to me as I lay on the couch.)

The (practicing) Christians I know are full-out surrendered to letting God’s spirit direct their paths. When I allow that, I bless and am blessed. When I pull back into my "old" self-protective, reactive ways, I suffer, and those around me suffer, too, even though I try to isolate when I’m feeling low. Others suffer because they don’t get the "Christ in me" when I pull back. They always notice and always ask if anything is wrong when I get quiet or uncommunicative.

If you ask almost anyone to describe me in one word, the word is "enthusiastic." That thrills me, because it comes from the word "entheos" which means "God in me." The Jewish people have Emmanuel – "God with us." Christians enjoy Entheos – "God in us" (via the Holy Spirit).

I know that when I give The Holy Spirit carte blanche with my mind, emotions, will, intellect and my personality, people get blessed. And when I get tried, or stressed, or miffed, the "old" me takes over and becomes a giant pill – or can, if I succumb to the temptation.

The great thing about being born again is that the experience of becoming a blessing rather than a bother is so enjoyable that it encourages itself! I can’t stay mad anymore… or bored… or ticked… I start giggling and laughing whenever I decide I have a "right" to be proactively cranky or isolationist. I used to feel "pride" and what I considered "righteous indignation" when I was miffed. Now I realize that my Adamic nature is trying to grab hold of me again, and I respond by thinking about that… forgiving it… and getting bored with it. The process always returns me to ebullience and joy. Every time. Being cranky and judgmental just takes too much energy! Joy gives and gives and gives -- and rarely gives out unless I’m close to exhaustion!

I haven’t had even ten Christmases yet in my life where Jesus was the sole reason for the season. In a way, I’m luckier than most (nominal) Christians who more or less take Jesus for granted. Since He has become my dearest friend, all I can think of is how blessed I am and what a blessing He is. And I know I want to be like him "when I grow up," and as I grow into the fullness of this new experience of being an adopted child of the Most High God.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. And it doesn’t have a thing to do with presents. It has everything to do with Presence!

Thank You, Father God, for loving us so much that you sent your only son to die as a substitute for all of us, who have fallen so far short of our mandate to be your image-bearers and to reflect Your light and love. I try to fathom a love that great. I don’t know of a single terrestrial father who would give his son in the way you gave yours to save all of us from the penalties of our transgressions against Your Word and direction… and even if there were such a father, his son could not accomplish what yours did at Calvary. He canceled our sin debt and threw open the Holy of Holies to each of us so that we can elect to walk with You again in the Garden forever. It had to hurt to do that… it had to be hell to see your son endure all He did to win us back. I will not forget Your love and Your sacrifice. You love us beyond our comprehension or understanding…beyond our own abilities to love! One day we will love as you do. Until then, help us reflect as much of You as our dirty lenses will allow… and clean and polish and de-smudge us in every way possible so that the reflection off us will reveal Your Face and Your Love. It is in the precious Name of Jesus I pray. Amen, amen, and amen!

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"We live in a world of theophanies. Holiness comes wrapped in the ordinary. There are burning bushes all around you. Every tree is full of angels. Hidden beauty is waiting in every crumb. Life wants to lead you from crumbs to angels, but this can happen only if you are willing to unwrap the ordinary by staying with it long enough to harvest its treasure."

-- Macrina Wiederkehr

Responses Galore!

Looks like my last blog (about relationships that reek) hit a nerve almost everywhere. Readers are emailing me heart-rending regrets over not having shown more love in a troubled relationship before someone died. Others have said they patched their relationships and their world is brighter and much less stressful than in it was in days of yore. They're smiling and laughing again instead of living with knotted stomachs and rampant bile! Still others are struggling with the issue and realizing they need to do something to regain lost ground in the "human heart" department.

What a wonderful world it can be when we realize we are all in this together and that each of us can make a difference that soars rather than sinks and stinks! (The difference you make in any relationship makes it soar or sink. What do you do differently in healthy and troubled relationships? There's your key! Treat everyone like a treasure and they'll likely become one -- and if they don't, you've done your best -- which feels great all by itself, provided you don't let your pride and ego rule the day by feeling "superior" to the one who doesn't "get it"!)

Imagine the possibilities. What's holding you back? Ego? Pride? Stubbornness?

There's a spot in each of us that knows better. There's a spot that's pure love, aching to come out and "get real."

Find it and re-make your world!

Thanksgiving ... by Abraham Lincoln (Thanks to Debbie H for this!)


The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People.

I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

Abraham Lincoln

Merry KrisSmith Newsletter Is Ready!

I awoke with a start! Realized I hadn't written a holiday newsletter yet! So I did that this morning in the wee hours and have emailed it to everyone I have an email address for. This will cut down on obscene postage prices and hand-cramps from sending 100+ envelopes. I'll send cards and newsletters to the folks I know who don't have email. (Yeah, I know and I apologize already -- it's so much less personal to get an emailed newsletter and holiday greetings, but this girl's on a budget and this is the way it has to be until I get R & F (or just R).

Don't worry if you didn't get an emailed newsletter. If you're following this blog, you know all the news anyway! I just buttoned it up and tied a bow onto it (in under two pages) for those who don't have access to this blog. or to emails to me. If you didn't get one and want it, just let me know your email address and I will send one on to you!

A'Biking We Will Go, A-Biking We Will Go...

I stopped at GI Joe's Sporting Goods today to ask when their bikes would be on sale... and guess what? They're having a 30% off on almost everything sale (perfect timing), as long as customers buy a total of three items...

So I bought a mens Diamondback Wildwood Bike (same as my sister's, whose bike I rode and loved a couple months ago), a bike carrier for my car, a bike lock, a gel bike seat cover, and some biking gloves. The total price came to less than the bike would have cost with tax, so I got away like a bandit. A store employee even put the bike rack on my car so I didn't have to figure out that part of the conundrum. Good thing I asked, too, because he had trouble, so I would STILL be in the parking lot if I'd had to put the thing on! He's not even sure he got it on right, but it's solid and the bike made it home without a hitch, so I call that a success.

I've already ridden about three miles, even though it's nearly arctic outside. I plan to ride it for thirty minutes every day it isn't raining all winter long unless the roads get icy. It's great cardio-vascular exercise and is fun besides!

Casey's last soccer game for the season this morning was terrific and the sun was out (forecast was for rain, so God blessed us). The girls (most of them 7 years old -- Casey turns 7 on November 22nd) have improved tremendously over the course of the season as they learned not only rules but strategy. At this age, no one keeps official score, but I think "our" team (The Wildcats) won most of their contests. Of course, their coaches are my niece and nephew, Wendy and Phil (Casey's parents), and Wendy was a soccer star in high school and college, so our team has the best coaching available to seven year olds, probably.

Wendy is just something else with kids. She's perfect -- encouraging and inspiring. She corrects with love and by example. Every kid should have a coach/parent/mentor like Wendy! Phil didn't play soccer in school -- he was a football jock -- but he's out there with the kids and Wendy every week doing his "positive male figure" thing for all concerned. I'm crazy about them both and about both of their kids.

[Addendum: I'm also crazy about Dawn Foxley and her kids (Lizzie and Isabella) but they don't figure into today's blog because they are out and about doing something else today. In fact, I haven't seen them in three weeks! What gives?! I need my Foxley Fix!]

Casey told me last weekend that she is beginning to write stories and LOVES it. Wendy says Casey's teacher always comments on how much more she writes, when given assignments, than the rest of the class. She said she's lucky to get two or three sentences out of most kids, while Casey regularly turns in a page -- with writing on both sides! Way to go, Caserooni!

Casey interviewed me a few weeks ago and then wrote up the interview and had me read it. Except for spelling errors (hey, she's only six -- and the way she did spell the words made sense phonetically), it was complete and amazing.

Since she is getting into it with such passion and success, for her birthday (shhhh!!!) I have bought her a blank book journal and eight pens -- four black, four colors -- and have written, "Given with love and pride to the newest writer in our family CASEY HOPE McNIVEN on your 7th birthday, November 22, 2007, by the other writer in the family, your Aunt Kris." Then on a facing page, I added, "You go, girl! Create a world, or write something about the world you're in... Whatever you do... Have fun, share wisdom, and ENJOY!"

I think she's going to be surprised and very happy.

She's the kind of kid who remembers what I got her last year for her birthday. She told me today, "You got me an otter puppet last year!" Why, sure enough, I did! It's in her bedroom and she says she loves it.

I told her I had decided on something this year that I think she'll love too -- "Something that you and I have in common other than a love for animals." She doesn't have a clue what that might be... and don't you tell her!

Guess that's it unless I get an inspiration later today...