Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Cast of Departed Loved Ones...

I don't know what I ate last night, but whatever it was... THE DREAMS I HAD WENT ON AND ON AND ON LAST NIGHT!

The cast of characters in the dreams consisted of deceased loves ones -- De, Mom, Dad, Deaken.

De was back and wanted to go to a function but didn't think he could get through it without being overcome by emotion, so instead he decided to go to dinner with me and send a message to the other function. The other function had something to do with Leonard Nimoy, but I don't recall what any more. (I was half-scared I would wake up this morning and learn that LN had passed away overnight!)

De looked and acted great -- very healthy, he grinned a lot, and I got to see him throw his head back and laugh again in the unique way he did when very tickled about something.

After that, I found myself frantically gathering food and water for Deaken (the serval cat I was Mom-cat to for over seventeen years) and crying in desperation because I couldn't gather it fast enough. I was embarrassed to tell anyone -- including Mom and Dad -- why I was so upset, but the reason was because I hadn't fed or watered him, or cleaned his enclosure, in YEARS and I knew the chances were very good that when I finally got back to him he would either be dead or very, very thirsty and hungry! (DUH!) (Dreams are nutty things, aren't they? If I had ever forgotten to feed, water and keep Deaken clean during his lifetime, my house and yard would have reeked and he would have been all over me, probably chewing on my ankle or one of his domestic kitty brothers and sisters! HA HA HA)

Mom was so concerned by my frantic upset that she implored me to tell her what was the matter, and I finally blurted out to her that I had neglected Deaken. She assured me that she had been taking care of him all the while and that he was fine! I looked at her and asked, "Does he have fresh straw?" She said, "Piles and piles of it." I ran out to the enclosure and Deaken chirped at me and came running to me as though he hadn't seen me in years. I opened the gate, went in, and ran my fingers through his fur, laughing and crying all at the same time.

Then I began to realize that I must be dreaming and I almost cried over that, still asleep... got all choked up as I realized the symbolism of all of the dreams: Mom is, indeed, taking care of Deaken until I get across Rainbow Bridge, too, and De was stopping by to have dinner even though there are a lot of other people he "should" be having dinner with! (If they're as lucky as I am, they are having dinner with him again in their dreams!)

I got very misty and overcome... still sleeping!!! ... and felt so lucky to be interacting with my "four D's" again: De, Dad, Deaken and Mom (Dorothea).

When I told Jackie about the dreams this morning, she said she has similar dreams at times and then reminded me that it was about this time in 1996 that I had Deaken put to sleep... and a month from now, eleven years ago, is when Mom passed away from brain cancer. Although these dates hadn't occurred to me (Sept 11th means Ground Zero in NY, the Pentagon and a field in PA to me more than it means the day Deaken was put to sleep 9/11/96 these days), I'm guessing that's exactly why I dreamed this way during this time of year. The weather is changing and it's probably keying my brain to remember earlier times when I was interacting with my four D's before they passed away.

I've been feeling lucky all day, to have spent the evening with four of my long-lost loved ones. It feels like I was with them last night in real life. Priceless!


Carl Rylander said...

I remember seeing somewhere that dreams are your way of helping you cope with your life. You imagine the worst possible options and live through them.


mj said...

Well, dreams are also ways we remember those we love and it is natural for those to happen at the time of year when we experienced the initial loss. I am glad you were able to experience all 4 of them at one time....it was very special.