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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Mail Came Today... First Time Since the FENCE Campaign

Laverne and Shirley (c/o me) got $4 in the mail from friends in Cle Elum (you know who you are, Sue and Bill!) for the new fence. They also got $3 via Paypal from a UK friend (Carl!). So that's lucky $7 for the first day of returns. That'll buy one 7' fence post 4' in diameter; PERFECT!  It'll be sturdy. 

I'll need at least 40 or 50 more fence posts, I'm guessing, if I place them eight feet apart. Then I'll need fencing material. 100 feet costs about $70 (if I remember right). I'll probably need at least 300 feet of that. (YIKES! I guess I'd better get out there with a tape measure and figure it out to the inch, so I get only what I need and no more!)

Today at the feed store I bought two bales of grass hay, 50 pounds of cob (corn, oats, barley), two bags of cedar shavings, and a 30 pound mineral block for the goats; then at the grocery store I bought them 30 pounds of Granny Smith apples at 29 cents a pound. $86 later, I think Laverne and Shirley are completely taken care of (except that I'll need more apples) until I can get them out in the fenced yard-to-be within a couple of months (weather, my work schedule, and my back and hand willing). My goats really are pretty cheap to keep, now that I have the pen made ($200) and the crushed gravel in ($300). I don't think they've cost more than $200 beyond those costs to keep for the six months I've had them, and that includes hoof trimmers, a hoof rasp, leashes, collars, hoof pick and antibacterial foot dip (for after trimming their hooves). They only eat about a half flake of hay a day between them. Once the fence is in, I won't have to feed them all spring, summer or fall because they'll be out in a pasture eating the brush, shrubs, blackberry leaves and other green stuff, so they'll be free to keep three quarters of the year. (It's getting them set up the first time that costs the big bucks.)

I was out hacking away a little bit this weekend on the path for the fence. The path goes pretty much right through a big, mossy ol' stump that's rotting to pieces, so I should be able to smash that out of there with a pick ax.  An old, downed barbed wire fence runs nearly along the same path; it's tangled in dead blackberry vines, so I just cut it out as I come across it. It's probably 90% gone by now; I just have to make sure it's completely gone because the barbs are rusty and I don't want goats, nieces or grownups getting tetanus.  I've had a tetanus shot, but I don't know if the nieces have, and I know the goats haven't yet, so I need to be sure to get rid of every last piece of downed wire.

While I was cutting dead, dried blackberry vines (big, thick ones), one of them snagged me, catching me in the left cheek and embedding a big ol' thorn there (briefly). OWWWW!  It's fine now, but it was no fun at all when it happened. Maybe I ought to wear a bicycle helmet when I'm out there.

Today when I got back with the hay and stuff, I let the goats out of the pen to roam on the lawn and "help" me unload the SUV. (Yeah, right.) Laverne almost immediately jumped into the back of the SUV, atop the two bales of hay, to supervise while I carried the  mineral block, cob and two bags of cedar shavings out. Then she "helped" me move the bales to the shed by jumping on each one every time I rolled it... She thinks an 80 pound bale isn't sufficient exercise and that adding a six month old, 100 pound goat is probably "just what the doctor ordered."  (It is, if said doctor wants me to develop a hernia; otherwise, not so much.)

How can I not love working for my goats?  They're more fun than I can describe...  They even tried to "help" me cut blackberry vines by standing in the way and looking up at me adoringly. I believe that's when I took my eyes off the task at hand and snagged myself in the cheek with the blackberry vine. 

What can I say? I'm twitterpated.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

24 Truths for Mature Humans -- FUNNY!


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


6. Was learning cursive really necessary?


7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.


10. Bad decisions make good stories.


11.. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.


13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.


17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?


20.. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!


21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.


22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.


23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Friday, January 28, 2011

"Define a Good Writer"

I've been trying to define the essence of a good writer for a while. Today it came to me:

"A good writer is someone who is completely unapologetic about the blast they're having!!! "

Bottom line: If writing is painful to you, maybe you shouldn't bother trying to become a writer... or even a better writer.  I quit trying to be better at math decades ago because it made me miserable and I have survived. If writing is a pain, you can stop doing it and survive, too.  I promise. You really can! 

When I teach writing,  students often look to me like they're just moments away from undergoing root canal. They do not look happy.

So I've been telling students for quite a while now: "Put your Critic (that irritating Voice inside your head with an eraser in her virtual hand)  away completely and let your child out in the sandbox to play.  Your child has no qualms about doing anything wrong -- she's so in the moment, focused happily on what she's 'communicating'  while playing that the last thing on her minds is 'Am I doing this right? Could I be doing this better?'"


Today I got a newsletter from my insurance agent, Kim McKendry. On the front page was her report of learning the art and science of scuba diving.  I was with her every step of the way.

From the first word to the last, you could tell Kim was having a blast telling "me" (actually "us," all of her clients, but it felt like she was talking to me alone from across a kitchen table) about her lessons and about her first fascinating-but-frigid dive into Puget Sound. I was enthralled -- and scuba is not one of those things I'd normally get all that enthralled about! (Sharks and I are natural enemies. I think I must have been a sea otter in an earlier life.) 

Kim's joy was in every sentence and, because it was, she's a great writer.  Oh, sure, she knows the rules of the road, too, so none of her sentences or segues were knobby or uncomfortable. But that stuff can be learned, and finessed, later-- when we allow our Critics back into the room to smooth things out. You can read Kim's story yourself by going to http://www.mckendryinsurance.com/ and clicking on Go Green to get the newsletter electronically.

I see people stopping themselves ALL THE TIME when they're writing. I used to do it myself. STOP THAT!  The best thing you can do while writing is to forget the rules (or stop bothering yourself about whether you know them all) and just GO FOR IT!

Go for whatever is driving the story you want to tell. If it's a love story, let the love out.  If it's a story about anxiety, let the anxiety out in a way that others can feel.  If it's about your product or service, turn yourself loose to explain what it will do for the people who avail themselves of the opportunity.  Don't make it about "selling..." Make it about "telling" in a way that brings out your own excitement and passion for the topic.

This is one reason I only bid on projects at Elance that fire my passion in several directions all at once.  Although I can't get wildly excited about brake linings or motorcycle helmets, I can get very excited about how vital they are:they save lives when they're working properly!  That's something I can wrap my passion around...

Another of my mantras is "show, don't tell."  This doesn't work in every instance, but when it does, it brings the reader in to experience the circumstance or the event.  Read "The Help" if you haven't already since I recommended it recently.  You're THERE because the writer is invested in putting you there.

If you love to write, go for it. If you don't, it probably isn't your calling and you WILL survive.  I wouldn't survive without being able to write, I don't think. It keeps me sane and allows me to be insane.  It's a blessing.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

"PLEASE FENCE ME IN!" -- The Laverne and Shirley Fencing Challenge

If (and I realize this is a big if!) everyone on my friends list at Facebook and if everyone on my "Almost Famous" followers  would donate just ONE BUCK EACH for my DOES, Laverne and Shirley (to clarify: not the horn-y kind of buck, I mean the GREEN kind: a single, solitary $1 bill), I'll do the heavy lifting, digging, toting and fetching and build them a fence starting real soon!  

If you can help me afford the fence, I can start building it and have it up before spring does its thing so I can turn my "kids" out as soon as all of the errant strawberry bushes and vines and twigs start greening up... and I'll take videos of their very first foray into their new Wonderland for you as a thank you!

So...wanna help? (pwease, pwease, pwease? Ain't I cute when I beg?) It's for my bay-bees, not for me!  (Hell, it's gonna half kill me; I've gotta be the post hole digger and fence builder! ACK!!!!)

If you want to help in this easy, wonderful way, please send me a quick email to kristine m smith AT msn DOT com (all one word) if you don't already have my snail mail address and I'll give it to you. Make the subject line:  A BUCK FOR YOUR DOES! Don't include any attachments to your email or I won't open it.)

Thanks so much! I figure this is the ONLY way I'm going to be able to get a fence up for them for spring. Finances are tight. Goats, thank God, are very cheap to keep inside a fence and in a pen/shed but I don't want them cooped up any longer than they absolutely have to be; they've already been cooped up for six months... except for when I walk them. 

Thanks for whatever you can do to help.  I'll even take change. I'm not proud.. or I would never have sent this out to begin with!

You're De best! 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Head Cold Has Me Feeling Low

Except for two walks with the goats and a few card games prompted by my niece Casey and her school friend Gillian,  and one Elance writing project, I have been laying low with a pretty serious head cold all weekend. It has me wiped out. I'm inclined to sleep all the time. I certainly can't sleep all day tomorrow, so I have to sleep while I can. Tomorrow I have to look for more writing work ... and hopefully land some!

Luckily, the cold is only in my nose at the moment; I've been awash in warm and cold liquids (hot tea, iced tea, a couple cups of hot cocoa) all weekend so the cold won't settle into my chest and lungs; I'm susceptible to brochitis and pneumonia when that happens, since I've had two bouts of both (simultaneously) in my life. When it happened last time, one of my lungs partially collapsed and I couldn't sing (let alone stand up to sing) in the church choir. I knew something was seriously wrong then!  So, ever since, whenever I get a cold I pour in liquids like Niagara. The practice keeps me un-stopped (nasally) for the most part even when I sleep, so I am sleeping... a LOT!  That's a good thing.
Another nice side effect is that I'm not hungry, so I'm probably losing some weight. That would be a good thing!

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The aforementioned weekend Elance project will pay close to $250. It may pay more if I can convince the client to let me edit the ebook he's having me promote via an opt in and sales page. 

The e-book needs significant editing. The basic information is good but it's not well presented and I think the manuscript should be every bit as exemplary as the ad copy so buyers won't be disappointed when they receive it.  That would NOT be good for business!

Let's face it: I have an absolute fixation on good writing. I figure that once I'm onboard to do copywriting for someone, we're a team and I should make sure what's offered is exemplary, something I wouldn't hesitate to recommend to a friend or family member.  I won't agree to write sales copy for just any product or service. I want to be able to stand behind whatever I elect to tout as a sales writer. But that's just me.  Many--perhaps most?--copywriters will write about anything at all if the money is right. I won't risk my soul, or a buyer's health, wellbeing, money or happiness "just" to make a living.  Making a living is important, for sure, but keeping my integrity is absolutely essential.

But I digress...

In three other instances where something similar has happened, the clients agreed to let me copy-edit/copy-enhance their manuscripts (at an additional cost, of course) and the results were very good--sales were brisk and no one complained or asked for refunds.

Generally I'm able to review clients' products or services before I agree to bid on them, so I can let them know upfront whether or not I think their presentation (whether it's their existing website copy or their ebook copy) should be improved immediately (before they launch their new campaign) to make it likelier that what I write for the new campaign will result in significant additional conversions (sales). In this case, the ebook manuscript wasn't attached to the project description so I couldn't weigh in regrading its quality. I'm hoping the client will see the logic and value in what I'm proposing.

The copy I wrote for the opt in page and sales page is very good so I want the e-book copy to be equally good. It probably won't take more than half a day to "make it so" and unless that happens, the client is bound to have some less-than-happy customers. Who wants that?  Neither of us and none of his customers!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Scribnia Interviewed Me This Week--Stay Tuned for More!

Scribnia.com interviewed me (via written Q&A this week). I didn't know I had made it onto their radar. SOMEONE who reads these blogs introduced this blog to them; that's how they found out about me. THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE!  (I'm guessing Mary Doman, Lisa Hamner, or Billie Rae Walker, but I really have no idea. Please fess up so I can thank you properly.)

I think I answered about 8-10 questions. Total word count was around 1400 words (including the questions, none of which were very wordy). The interview was about having a blog, not about De--although the lady who sent the questions thought my history with De could be fodder for a future interview, too. I guess we'll see what kind of feedback we get on the first one before deciding to do another one.

I'll let you know when the interview is up at Scribnia. In the meantime, if you like, you can go there and vote my blog spot up the flagpole.  Last time I looked, it was at #16...  That's pretty fabulous, considering all the gazillions of blogs out there!

Gotta go play some cards with my grand nieces and their little friend Jillian now. Casey helped me wrangle the goats for hoof-trimming today; it's the least I can to to thank her for being so awesome. She is getting to be quite the accomplished helper!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Your Prayers Are Working!

Things are looking up.  I still don't have enough $$$ for health insurance for March (it's due Feb 5th for March), but I have  enough for everything else, HALLELUJAH!!! And there's a grace period on the health insurance, so I'll probably make that just before the bell, too, with any luck at all.  WOO HOO!

I have two project possibilities that look "right promising," One at Elance and one as the result of a De/Trek connection.  The De/Trek connection one could have me writing 40-60 hours a week at $55/hour for at least two weeks straight (with similar hours and weeks every few weeks thereafter); the other may bring in $1800/ month for 40 hours of work. If I get these two as "regulars," I will be just fine... perhaps TOO fine (overworked by a bunch)... but since I love what I do, it won't be much of a hardship. It's better to be earning 12-14 hours a day than looking for projects 10-12 hours per day and struggling to make ends meet, that's for sure. It pays a lot better!

I've also put an ad in the Little Nickel for two weeks in East and West Pierce County, so that may bring me in some local work. (Most of my clients are scatterered all over the world. I've only had one Pierce County client in two years and I got them via Elance. I haven't done any outreach locally at all until this week, except for putting a yard sign on my front lawn on a rural, little-traveled road.)

In other news...

A German De Kelley fan (Antje--you've met her in an earlier blog post) sent me a color brochure about Kassel, the place in Germany where my grandmother grew to age 10 or 11 before coming to America during the first decade of the 20th century.  It's BEAUTIFUL!

My sister Laurel visited Kassel in 1968 when she was in Germany working as a secretary for the Air Force in Wiesbaden, and she had told me, back then, how amazing it was. Now I can see it for myself (in Technicolor)! It looks like there's a castle or a museum everywhere you look. 

The downtown area of Kassel was destroyed during the Second World War; because of this, Laurel wasn't able to track down any family history or relatives while she was there. That was a bummer. If anyone knows any Stelzners who came from the Kassel region of Germany to the USA, they may be related to us! (Let them know. If they don't run and hide after finding out more about me, maybe they'll connect!)

Hey, what do you think of the new background?  Does it make the copy too hard to read?  Let me know.  Go to Blogger.com and tell me which template you like best for the background and I'll try it out!  The one I had for ages has disappeared. I can't get it back...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Star Trek Remembering DeForest Kelley

Star Trek Remembering DeForest Kelley

FUNNY PRAYER!

Dear God,


My prayer for 2011 is for a fat bank account and a thin body.

Please don't mix these up like you did last year.


AMEN.

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I can relate...

Monday, January 17, 2011

"THE HELP" by Kathryn Stockett


I have a free moment--actually, truth to tell--I have far too many free moments right now and have had all this month (I NEED TO MAKE SOME MONEY, DAMMIT!!!), so last night I read The Help...from cover to cover, the reason being that I simply could NOT put it down. I knew it was going to be good, but I didn't know it was going to invade my soul the way it did and keep me up hours past midnight. And for the first time in my life, I think I'm going to read a book again very soon.

For those of you who don't know, The Help is a first novel by Kathryn Stockett. It's about a southern white girl in the late 50's and early 60's who wants to be a writer. She's a good writer--working for a local newspaper on a household tips and tricks column--but when a NY editor takes a real interest in her and challenges her to come up with a topic that will rock the world (more or less), she more than delivers: she suggests a series of interviews with black maids who will tell the truth about what it's like to work for white folks. 

When the editor indicates her interest (and her skepticism that any black maid in her right mind would actually sit down for an interview like this), the young woman (nicknamed "Skeeter") has to go out and find more than a dozen maids willing to talk to her... and the adventure begins. One of her compatriots for this mission is a black maid who works very hard to get others to overcome their fear of the project and speak out.

The story is told from various viewpoints, all in active, present tense: several maids and Skeeter. The way Stockett manages the diverse cast is brilliant. She "inhabits" each of the speakers so completely that the reader finds him- or herself lodged into the situation, too.

For anyone wanting to read a riveting book..for anyone wanting to write a riveting book... I highly recommend this one.  I know you'll treasure it and that you'll want to share it.

Next I'll be reading Water for Elephants before I actually see the movie. I'm into it several pages and know it will be good, too... but I think The Help is perhaps my all-time favorite novel...ever.

Let me know what you think when you read it.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Life is Hard.. But Not as Hard as It Is For Many Others.

I'm having "another one of those months"...

Famine. I've made (drum roll, please) all of $319 so far in January.  It's scary. It's frustrating, too, because I've spent long hours looking through the projects at Elance, finding ones I felt I could ace, bidding on them.... and getting passed over... landing just the $50 ones. 

$200 of what I've made this month didn't even come from Elance -- it came from other places: a book I'm working on with a friend, two letters I rewrote for LinkedIn associates. Oh, and I sold a copy of ENDURING LEGACY for $4.95. (Paypal got about fifty cents of that.)

I don't like months like these. They wouldn't be so bad if I had something laid up in savings but I haven't been able to get that far ahead yet.  Grrr...

Unless something changes FAST -- and of course, it can at any moment; I have enough bids out there to retire on if they all came my way!) (ok, that's an exaggeration!) but right now, based on what I've made so far this month, I'm eligible for food stamps almost four times over! I have to pay my mortgage, Internet and phone connection fees (they're my shelter and my lifeline to work!), and I should have enough for those "mandates" by the end of January, but I may have to drop health coverage (or pay it late if enough comes my way before the grace period ends); I can go to an emergency room and get help despite my inability to pay should it come to that (thank God, my citizenship, and a lifetime of paying taxes for this small "perk"!)

Being self-employed is a crapshoot the first few years. It's been so sporadic all year long that it has been a real struggle at times... and this is one of those times. It puts my tummy in a knot to dwell on it... so I don't, much. I just look harder for work... day and night... I'm often up at 3 a.m. looking for another project because I can't sleep, with the end of the month looming over my shoulder like a big black cloud...

But I am so glad I have complete faith in God; I'd be an absolute nervous wreck without Him. I know He didn't give me a lifelong passion to write for no reason... or a spirit of fear (fear is the devil's bailiwick)... and I'm doing a lot of Christian ministry as a result of the projects I'm offered and accept. I know it will all work out.

I just hate giving my sister additional things to fret about.  We bought this property together to help each other and I must hold up my end of the deal. I'm paying the chunk of the mortgage that is ABOVE the required monthly payment, the chunk that is supposed to pay off this place within ten years so she can retire without a mortgage hanging over our heads.  (I'll never be able to afford to retire. It's a good thing I love what I do, eh wot?). My chunk goes 100% to principal each and every month. I want to be paying even MORE into it, but so far $500/month is all I've been able to contribute reliably.

When I sit and stew like this, I get miserable and restless, and I feel borderline useless to the person I love most in this world: my sis Jackie.  I start crucifying myself silently for being a Creative instead of a solid, professional 9-to-5 office worker with health benefits and a reliable weekly paycheck (no matter how unlike me that role actually was during all the years I served in it). I wasn't as happy at work then as I am now, but I was...well, like the song... workin' 9 to 5 and actually getting paid for all of the hours... Now I'm workin' 9 to 9 and getting... either nowhere very fast... or somewhere too damned slow! (Now would be a good time to ROTFL. Go ahead. I'll wait.)

De always told me I had to pursue a creative career by faith because a steady, reliable income was never going to be assured. HE finally made it, with STAR TREK... but it took him decades. He didn't starve, and I won't either.

And when I consider what Christina Taylor Green's family is going through right now, what Gabby Giffords is going through tonight and tomorrow and for months to come, what my friends with cancer are going through, what so much of the rest of the world is going through (Haiti, Africa, Mexico, you name it) I feel like a louse for spending even two minutes obsessing over my piddly concerns. 

My sister and I are healthy; she's fully employed and I'm at least semi-employed... and every bit as employed as I can be at this juncture. I've tried landing outside work but nothing has come through, I guess because of my "advanced" age: I'll be 60 in March; (good God!!! How did that happen?!) Or maybe it's because I'm too obviously over-qualified for lesser-paying jobs. I've applied to be a tutor and a teacher assistant, even a bus driver. No go.  Everybody and their cousin is looking for work; this is one lousy time to be under- or unemployed!

But boy howdy... the rich folks got their income tax deductions extended, uber-rich corporations received their "personhood" so they can contribute untold amounts of money to their indentured politicians, and Wall Street all got their  perks and bonuses as reliably as tomorrow's sunrise. I sure hope these "government-blessed" folks cut loose with some of the money the worker bees of the country earned them and that they'll create some more jobs so the rest of us can get a handhold or two on ledges of sufficient livelihoods again...

But it doesn't seem there are many "bleeding hearts" in high places these days or we wouldn't be in the shape we're in right now. The Ayn Rands seem to be winning. And Christ died for them, too.

What was He thinking?!    :)

Ok, OK.  I didn't mean to start venting. It just popped out. I see injustice and I just want to yell..or cry... and ask, "Why?"

Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?"  I dream things that never were and say, "Why not?"

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

President Obama Never Fails to Amaze Me...

President Obama's words were just right. I bawled most of the way through the memorial service. How anyone can believe he is a scoundrel is beyond me... always has been... always will be.

I am so glad he's our President.  I hope he runs again.  He'll win if he does.

His heart is in the right place and his smarts are exemplary.

What a statesman.

Donate to Gabby's Faborite Causes!

From Steve Israel---



In the wake of last Saturday’s tragic shooting in Tucson, the thoughts and prayers of the DCCC remain with our colleague, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, her staff, the other victims of this horrifying attack, their families, and the people of Southern Arizona.


Today, the House of Representatives formally honored them with a resolution expressing the condolences of our entire nation. But since Congresswoman Giffords is both a colleague and a close friend, I wanted to share some additional thoughts.


Congresswoman Giffords is a rising star and I am always touched by her compassion and drive. She was simply doing what she loves to do – talking with and serving her constituents.


We mourn and honor the lives of nine-year-old Christina-Taylor Green, her congressional outreach director Gabe Zimmerman, her friend and Chief United States District Court Judge John Roll, and the other people who were senselessly murdered while simply meeting their representative in their neighborhood.


In Gabby’s spirit of thinking about others, I wanted to pass along the suggestion of her husband, Captain Mark Kelly who encouraged people to pray for the victims and their families, and for those who want to do more, consider making a contribution to two organizations that she has long valued: Tucson’s Community Food Bank or the Southern Arizona chapter of the American Red Cross.


Please join the DCCC in continuing to send your thoughts and prayers to the victims of this horrific attack and your wishes for Gabby’s recovery and return to the House of Representatives.






Thank you,










Rep. Steve Israel


DCCC Chairman

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

It's Time for Me to Write Another E-Book -- Suggest Topics!

I'm not getting enough contributions to issue a second edition of Enduring Legacy of DeForest Kelley this year, so that one is likely off the table until later (or never), which frees me up to write about something else. I'd like to know what you think I ought to write an e-book about next...

It should be a topic that has enough value that strangers (not just friends and associates) would be willing to plunk down $4.95 to read.  I know a lot of stuff...

* Pet care for most species of pets

* Writing tips and tricks

* Serval Son (memoir of my life and times with a remarkable gentleman cat)


It could be...

Non-fiction

Fiction (finish my two McCoy stories, perhaps.. which have been sitting in a drawer for 15 years)

Humor

Go ahead. Suggest something that you think I could do a good job writing about. I need to write something more to bring in passive income so times of "famine" during my freelance copywriting career don't threaten to bankrupt me... I'll write it between projects...

Like this week, if you respond soon!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Prayers going up for AZ Representative Gabrielle Giffords

I had a horrible feeling that it was just a matter of time before something like this would happen. This is a wake up call of the highest magnitude to Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and the other shrill, mean-spirited purveyors of putrid punditry. 

Sarah Palin, your "DEMS in the crosshairs" depictions have always been problematic; Beck and Limbaugh, your insane rhetoric which encourages people to think that DEMS are Fascists, Socialists, Communists, terrorists in disguise encourages mentally unbalanced citizens to take up arms and "save" America from them. STOP IT NOW!  FIND WAYS TO DISAGREE WITHOUT INCITING UNHINGED FOLLOWERS TO ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST DULY-ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES.

It's time to dial back the rhetoric, take a good hard look at what your words are creating or endorsing (paranoid monsters and pathetic actions), and stop your hyperbolic and hysterical proclamations.  Your words create the world. If your words are not creating life, they are creating death.

Shame on you. Shame on us all for not insisting on a halt to the caustic vitriol long before now.

Clean up the airwaves. Now.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Sanitize HUCKLEBERRY FINN? NO NO NO!!!

There's a controversy raging. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain has been banned in many schools during much of its existence for a lot of different reasons. Southerners hated it when it was first published because one of its heroes is black -- the slave Jim, whom Huckleberry Finn does his best to transport to freedom on a raft even though he's convinced he'll go to hell for his efforts. They also hated it because it showed, up close and personal, the way of Southern whites of that era.

Others have banned it from schools because of the frequent use of the N word within its pages.  The pejorative is used more than 210 times in Huckleberry Finn. Polite, politically correct society doesn't like the word.  I too loathe the word; I heard it snarled far too many time when I worked in Mississippi, Louisiana and Georgia less than 40 years ago, where it was still quite fashionable and common among whites.

Now Huck Finn has been released with the N word taken out and replaced with the word "slave." As is the case with so many other Twain lovers, I am almost apoplectic over the change.Twain must be hopping mad in heaven.

Mark Twain knew exactly what he was doing when he used that word where he used it: we was exposing the underbelly of the monster, not denigrating the poor soul who had to endure the label and continue to abide in a land where his skin color relegated him to the level of beasts of burden, as property.

When I read the book as a teenager I didn't think the N word made Jim any less noble, any less a man, any less a hero than he was.  When I read the N word, the people I focused on were the speakers of the word. For the most part, they were trained from an early age to honor and respect white people and to use and/or abuse black people in the same way they used and/or abused the animals that they raised, fed, worked, and killed. Those were the times in which Huckleberry Finn lived; Twain just wrote it all down after coming to the conclusion in later years that the way he had been raised in the south was wrong and that slavery and the treatment of the black man and his family was a scar on the Southerners' soul and a blight on Southern soil.

To take the N word out of the narrative subjugates the truth; it sanitizes what happened to black people 24/7/365 for hundreds of years, including into much of the 20th century.  It should hurt to read the word; it should  make the reader recoil as we discover the truth about the African American experience in America.

Now, if it's a choice between making the sanitized version available to schools or having the original version banned from schools, I suppose I would have to vote for... oh, but I can't. 

I simply cannot vote for exchanging "slave" for the N word.  The two words are not kindred; they are not equals; they are not what Twain intended to convey. Twain intended to convey exactly what he conveyed. Had he felt "slave" was the correct word, he would have used it. He used the common everyday vernacular of the people. He was justified in using it. His pen was the well-tuned "microphone" of the period.

Those who read the book gain a greater understanding of why the term is as painful and insulting as it is. The way Twain uses it in each instance tells the tale. No other word is right; no other word can substitute because no other word is as God-awful as that one is.

Today's children weren't here when Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. stood up, when fire hoses and police dogs were turned loose on blacks in the South in the 50's and 60's. I was. I remember those sights and sounds emanating from the television set in our front room and recoiling. But I had no real, palpable access to the periods of history when blacks had no legal say in their futures until I read Huckleberry Finn. That's when black history truly began to come alive for me. To hear Jim sorrowing over his still-enslaved wife and children and planning to get a job up north and then find some way to buy them.. or to steal them if their owners wouldn't agree to sell them to him... it just broke my heart.


Twain's book takes us back to a time we all wish had never been a part of our history. And yes, you bet it's painful. But readers see how Jim handles it, how he continues to hope, dream and work for a better tomorrow... one that sadly will never come in his lifetime.

No American should miss Jim's and Huck's experience. Or the Native American experience. Or the Chinese American or Japanese American experience.  All were part of the fabric of America. It ain't all pretty.  (Those who want to pretend it was are both delusonal and dangerous.)

But it's getting prettier by the day.  If you don't believe me, just look back. Read Huckleberry Finn... the way Twain wrote it!