FUNNY!!! ENJOY!!!

Life's truths....







1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately


clear your computer history if you die.






2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you


realize you're wrong.






3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I


was younger.






4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.






5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?






6. Was learning cursive really necessary?






7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm


pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.






8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how


the person died.






9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.






10. Bad decisions make good stories.






11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at


work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for


the rest of the day.






12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I


don't want to have to restart my collection...again.






13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it


asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I


swear I did not make any changes to.






14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know


not to answer when they call.






15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.






16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or


Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.






17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.






18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and


hunger.






19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just


nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?






20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team


up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and


sisters!






21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get


dirty, and you can wear them forever.






22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and


still not know what time it is.






23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their


car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the


Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3


feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!






24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in


1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100


years for men to realize that their brain is also important.