The source of anger
"Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
How does anger typically surface in your life?
We usually get angry at someone, don’t we? We judge that someone has done something wrong and we want them to be punished.
In truth, the actions of others are never to blame. It’s our thinking - our blaming and judgment - that causes the anger. And we blame and judge because we have a need that has not been met.
In his book 'Nonviolent Communication,' Marshall B. Rosenberg advises that rather than blame others, we are better served by directing our energy towards meeting our own needs.
He offers a simple tool for change. Instead of saying, ‘I am angry because they ...’ we can say, ‘I am angry because I am needing ....’
"At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled."
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg
"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it."
-- Marcus Aurelius
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's my take on most people:
When people strike any kind of pose, trying to convince you they're the greatest thing since sliced bread, what they're really indicating is, "I don't expect you to accept me just as I am. I feel inadequate to receive your time or your love unless I find some way to impress you."
The Cure
(De knew this cure very well!) :
Assure them they're beloved, no matter what, and they'll be able to relax, let down their guard, and allow you to love them without wondering if you're going to reject or scourge them at a later date.
Treat everyone as your beloved and see what happens.
You probably have already experienced what happens, a time or two, when you don't!
I certainly have: It hurts both parties and causes long-lasting scars!
No comments:
Post a Comment